Déjà vu


Everyone has experienced Déjà vu, but no one can really explain it.  I’ve heard theories ranging from delayed neurological responses to parallel universes.  Personally, I’ve experienced not only Déjà vu but precognition, where I’d dream about something that hasn’t happened yet and I swear that event occurs later on.  I feel like I’m either in X-men or a character on Heroes (remember when that show was going to be great and last forever?).  Regardless of having no way to control or understand these things, being able to tap into this stuff would be some superhero shit.  I’m getting excited just talking about it! (Feel these nipples! )

Imagine how grounding it must feel when you tell someone that you experienced something that either happened already or something that is going to happen in the future…. and someone tells you it happened last week but you were too drunk to remember it.  This doesn’t have to be a blackout drunk situation.   Me (while lifting my arms as if to pause the world for second): “Wait, Wait, OMG I feel like I’ve been here before!” (No I didn’t say the letters instead of the words (Yes I did))  Gf: “Yes, we went here for our anniversary last year”.  Ah, Crap.  Damn you red wine.  My memory never was great; I can barely remember anything before middle school (fat kid childhood repression?).  But years of college drinking have made my brain complete mush.  I’ve given up pretending, recently telling my girlfriend to repeat herself at least 3 times if she wants something to stick.  She had to remind me that I told her this.

Do you know how hard it is to win a fight with your girlfriend when you know that she knows, that you can’t remember a goddamn thing?  It’s like bringing a knife to a gunfight, just go home.  Every couple fights about dumb things that one of you said once like “That’s not true, I never said Angelina Jolie was the hottest girl in the world”.  “Yes you did, it was like 4 years ago when we were watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith”.  When your first thought is “have I ever seen that movie?”,   you are screwed.  The blank stare for 10 minutes while you try to think of a comeback sure doesn’t help either.

She has a great memory or you accept that she does because she could be lying to you, and how would you know, ya dumb shit?!  I’ve told myself that it’s smart to just avoid these spats, by accepting it. “I guess I did say I wanted to watch The Bachelor with you this season” or “Maybe I did pick the restaurant last time?”  It’s okay, let it go guy.  When your memory sucks this bad you’ve got bigger problems like cleanly answering “Do you remember the first time we kissed?” or coming to terms with the question “Do you remember that time we forgot to use protection?”  Whooo boy.


2 thoughts on “Déjà vu

  1. Pingback: Bottle Openers | dayolddoughnuts

  2. Pingback: She Wasn’t the Greatest | dayolddoughnuts

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