She Wasn’t the Greatest


Sometimes when I’m working I’ll start daydreaming and think “that would make a great blog post!”  So I’ll just jot down a few words and save them somewhere, figuring that I’ll get back to it sometime later.  Actual writers talk about doing this all the time; the stereotype being that they have napkins, junk mail, and receipts all over their house covered in their most creative ideas.  A couple weeks ago I wrote “She wasn’t the greatest” on a slip of paper.  I have no idea what the hell this idea was about.

My first instinct was (after repeating the title in my head over and over for an hour), ah fuck it.  My memory, as I have noted is god awful.  Let it go man.  But maybe, maybe this was the most brilliant insight that I’ll ever have.  What if this is the idea that changes others peoples’ lives?  Most likely it was more akin to pissing yourself or dick protruding pants, but what if?  And who the hell is she?  Do I know her?  Was she a singer?  Goddammit, what was she not that great at?!!

Two ideas (and unfortunately these are not brilliant) have come to me about this, and I really don’t think either one was my intention when I wrote it down.  The first being a rebuttal of someone not being great; not a particular person, but just the glorification of some unknown girl.  The way you hear guys talk about the girl that got away.  Guys will remember only the fun times they had, the way that she looked, and of course the mind blowing (for the guy only) sex.  They’ll forget the way she hated his music, how she would criticize the way he looked, and how she always wanted him to do something better with his life (read: make more money).  She may have been hot, but she certainly wasn’t the greatest.

But why would I write about this?  Wouldn’t I’d just tell my buddy to his face “Your ex girlfriend wasn’t an angel sent from up above, she was actually kinda cunty”.  So that can’t be it.  Maybe it was someone famous who is overrated, but died.  John Belushi wasn’t the greatest actor, he made a couple good movies and died before his career would go all Adam Sandlerish.  Happens all the time, Chris Farley, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, whoever.   You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.  But what female hero died, that I think gets too much credit? And why don’t all my posts come from Harvey Dent quotes?

My second grasp at this lost idea is the notion of someone not being great as a disclaimer. “She wasn’t the greatest pole vaulter, but she’s young and showed a lot of potential.” ( She sucks)   Anytime you hear “she wasn’t the greatest, but” nothing too flattering is coming next in the subtext.  “She wasn’t the greatest dancer, but she really loved to perform in front of people.”   Wonderful, but it sounds like she missed her calling. I’m sure there’s a ton of other things she could have done on stage, most of them legal, but she choose dance.  And failed.  Heartbreaking story.  Thanks for the disclaimer, but “she was a terrible dancer” would have sufficed.   “She wasn’t the greatest lover, but the things she could do with her mouth”.  Great, you dated a prostitute, so happy for you.  Tell the kids someday.

These are all pointless ramblings so I guess it doesn’t matter if I don’t remember exactly what I wanted to write.  Maybe my idea just wasn’t the greatest.  It was just a cunty idea that that missed its’ calling as blog post that no one would read anyway.  Let’s just move on.


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