Blame Lennon

There is something that never sat quite right with me about hating Yoko Ono. It’s not because I dislike The Beatles, or John Lennon personally. And musically, come on. I don’t have to argue this point right? And it’s not because I care for Ono at all. As much as I respect her artwork like a fucking apple inside a display case, I mean, I know it sure beats the shit out of Sgt Peppers for me, that’s not it either. Still, without getting into the real details of the breakup of the greatest band in rock ‘n roll history™, there is a widespread perception that Yoko Ono caused the fall of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. And no matter what she said or did, that is ri-goddamn-diculous. Because it wasn’t her fucking band. But it was John Lennon’s.

Can someone please tell me why people aren’t rocking “Blame Lennon” t-shirts? Is it because “Imagine” still makes you cry? Maybe it’s because Lennon was not only responsible for great music but messages that still resonate with people today. Or, is it because you hate women? I think there’s more to the last question than people are willing to admit. Does everyone who blames Yoko, blame all women for the things that their husbands do wrong? I would think not, but Lennon made the call to be with her and the call not with the band. HE could have chose the band. HE could have chose both. Ono, like millions of people worldwide fell for Lennon. What are we blaming her for, wanting to spend her life with John? Wanting to be a part of the band? That doesn’t seem fair. It’s at best extremely hypocritical.

I don’t know much about Ono personally. Maybe she really was this horrible, manipulative monster. But someone could make the best possible argument as to why Yoko Ono is responsible not only for the end of The Beatles, but the ozone layer, Parks and Recreations (I’m not getting over this), and western civilization, and I still couldn’t help but ask “if she was so terrible, why do we not fault Lennon for staying with her?” If this was contained to just one dead rock star maybe this question wouldn’t bug me so much, but the truth is there are a lot of women in the world that are terrible people (a lot of terrible men too but be patient, everyone will get a turn). Inevitably some guys will date people who fall into this category at some point in their lives. But why so often? There are still a good amount of non-terrible (charitable I know) women to date, right? What is the reason that guys end up with such terrible people?

It could have something to do with the things people are looking for in a partner. Asking people in person will get you mostly lies, but thank god we have dating sites that need to know even more than Cosmo what men are really looking for in a girl. Here are the deal breakers that you can limit your online searches by: Height, body type, eye color, hair color, ethnicity, faith, education, political views, exercise habits, pet preferences, occupations, salaries, drinking, smoking, zodiac signs. Yes you want to be attracted to the person you end up with, but are there guys out there that would eliminate a potentially great girl for them because of hair and eye color? Are guys actually starting to date someone because of their zodiac sign?

Even if I limit the search to things that I would find to reasonable it doesn’t help: I’m looking for someone with a pleasant body type, who doesn’t waste their time on religion, enjoys drinking, isn’t politically conservative, and likes animals. I’m sure there are no assholes that fit that criteria. With such a wide range of potential partners, how are people supposed to determine that someone isn’t really a terrible person, especially when they would initially have to disguise the terrible parts of them to attract someone? It seems obvious that you would learn this by getting to know people better. Yet I can’t count how many guys I know that have stayed with someone the more appalling they seem over time just because they fit the most important criteria there is: they were hot.

Maybe Lennon just thought Yoko was a stone cold fox? (Different strokes…) Maybe she just disguised her inner awfulness for a while. Maybe she’s not entirely evil like the shell of a person we as a society have categorized her as. I’m sure all of these options are equally likely. But hypothetically when said witch decided to reveal her true self and unleash her destructive ways upon this unsuspecting guy, why is there no responsibility for the person who chooses to stay with her? I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself but why don’t we learn? If someone really ended their relationship with the most influential band of all time because their wife said he should, people should be wearing shirts with Lennon on the front that read “Gutless” at the bottom.

Of course, it possible (likely?) that Lennon was just done with The Beatles regardless of Ono. But if we are going to believe that there is still someone that needs to be blamed for the premature breakup, we need to take a stronger look at John. He changed. This happens to many people. Maybe for the worst, and maybe they deserve some criticism for their changing ways, but maybe a change is better for them. Maybe they just need to move on with their lives. And if you feel you need to disagree with them, don’t blame the girl, blame Lennon. And not just Lennon, but every guy that speaks of Yoko like she had some magical powers that she used to hypnotize Lennon away from the band. We are the masters of our own destiny. There’s no arranged marriages here. There are no handcuffs in marriage unless you want them. You can make mistakes. But don’t do nothing and then blame someone else for your misery.

We are responsible. Every guy (or girl) that finds themselves in a relationship where they have no control and can’t do things that they truly want, but don’t speak up and try to change things. Make it better or find someone else that cares about what’s really important to you. Because every guy that blames their significant other for the things they quit on, the people they let down, and the regrets that they curse them out for every day under their breath, that guy, needs to wake up and punch themselves in the fucking face. If people didn’t pick a partner based on dumb preferences they wouldn’t end up with so many awful people. If people didn’t let awful partners get away with so many awful things, then we (your friends, family, and in Lennon’s case, fans) wouldn’t have to keep putting up with them either. No one forced Lennon (or your buddy with an awful girlfriend) to stay in their relationship. They either need to show some courage and cut devil loose, or maybe, just maybe, they really don’t think anything is wrong. So if you have a problem with their life or their choices, it should be abundantly clear who is to fucking blame.

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