People have asked me before what my family thinks of Day Old Doughnuts and I’ll tell them something like “Oh, they don’t read this crap”. And it’s true. Because they probably wouldn’t like it. Also because most of them didn’t know that it exist. I would never try to force anyone to read anything they didn’t want to. Now however some family members have seen the old blog and the goods news is that I was right: they didn’t like it. The bad news is that some people are pretty upset.
And I can understand that. I say a lot of not so nice things. About people I love, about people I hate, about people in general. Most of that is just me venting trying to make others, or at the very least myself, laugh. Sometimes people think it’s funny and are happy to share a post or make a comment on how they can relate to it. Other times people will disagree with me and call me out on it. Either way it’s fine. Sometimes people will be offended and stop reading. Other times people will be offended so much that they send something I wrote to the whole family and help create a shitstorm. Well, at least I can cross one person off the Christmas list.
It’s hard to understand why I feel compelled to write these things if you’ve never felt the way that I do. Or you’ve never wanted to write. Or if you are not interested in first person narratives. But I do feel these things and I do enjoy writing about them. I acknowledge some of it is part of my depression and part of it is my award winning personality. They both contribute to me feeling the need to express myself and trust me, doing it in person would lead to way more fights. That doesn’t mean that I always think I’m right, you know, at least no more than everyone thinks they’re right. Why else would they express their opinion if they didn’t believe some of it? Still I’m aware things that I say are wrong, maybe not right away, but sometimes later. And I’ve never claimed I’m being 100% truthful. I’ll take comedic license appropriating some other person’s experience as my own, or embellishing the truth. I’m not a reporter. Just an asshole with keyboard. It’s low-traffic blog on the internet. I didn’t think anyone would would care.
But apparently some people do care. So for any family or friends that do come across this site, just know that I love you. With the exception of one relative who is now dead to me. I poke fun of the people I love because I don’t want to start a fight with you every time I see you and I can’t just keep it to myself. That’s why we have the web: for people who can’t stop bitching to go be ignored in peace. It keeps the world spinning. Sometimes I may write something that seems about you but in reality it an amalgamation of multiple people that I know. Or it’s a proxy for an idea, not even a real person. Yeah, I’ll go straw man if I’ve got nothing to write about, I’m an amateur. Cut me some slack. Occasionally it might actually be about you but I’m not using your name and really.. no one cares what I say. If you want to you can disagree with me. Hell, if you’re really bored you can start your own blog called Bake Sucks and write some bad things about me. If you’ve read enough stuff here you will know that there is plenty of material and I welcome the competition.
But can I make one final appeal to people? If you really don’t like what I’m saying…. just don’t read it. Sometimes I get offended by things a writer will say and I stop reading their work too. You’ll usually find out pretty quickly that you weren’t missing much. I’m not a good writer so I don’t think people will really suffer any by bailing on me now. But if that’s not enough, I’m really not sure what else to say. If I apologize to one person there will be a lot of people waiting in line. Just going back a little I should apologize to my family, the state of Minnesota, anyone that I have previously worked with, the government, people who care about fashion, the Baseball HOF, streaming music sites, conservatives, yogis, and people with bumper stickers. Not to mention myself. I admit that I do love my family more than most of those groups, but it would be much appreciated if everyone could take a deep breathe, think about the context of what I’m saying, call me an asshole, and go back to living your life without worrying about any damn thing that I have to say.